Tenspeed & Brownshoe

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Male underwear models get no respect.
And most of them are packing mad heat. I was picking out a fresh pair of boxer briefs the other day and didn't even know where to look in the men’s underwear aisle. This is one of the only times men get a small taste of how women must feel every damn time a beer commercial comes on television. HUGE bulging packages snarled out at me from beneath hairless six pack abs everywhere I looked. Ball sacks the size grapefruit and thick, ropey, man sausage were burned onto my retina.
Was I in the gay men’s underwear aisle? I wished I were born blind. There was a guy next to me. I felt like we were both shopping for porn. I briefly toyed with the idea of making a wise crack, but feared it could go awry and observed the men’s urinal cone of silence instead. I told my wife later I understood if she wanted to see other men.

Speaking of wishing I were born blind, lets not forget Oliver Stone's World Trade Center!! (Another uninspired title see: JFK) He could have called it WALL STREET 2: Stock Market... CRASH! Thank God Mr. Stone is dramatizing the events of that day. What could be more necessary? On behalf of most all New Yorkers, I'll take a pass.
I caught the live show.
On second thought, maybe we need Nicholas covered in prop ash crawling around the iconic twisted metal of the wreckage. His surviving that day on screen in one hour and fifty minutes will let the nation finally heal. I remember watching it on the news thinking, GOD If they had just changed film stock more, it would have I dunno... made it more real I guess.
If I don't want to see it I don't have to go see it though right?
But I am going to have to be aware of it ... the controversy... the chatter, the widows protesting it - Stone on Larry King defending it, flanked with the Real Life Firemen who support the film. Some editorial in the Post slamming it. The studio taking out a full page ad in the trades calling Oliver Stone a patriot.
What I’d like to know is, will Guilliani love or hate? Support the film or banish it like a manure covered Madonna? Guess we'll just have to wait and see.