One of the greatest things to do is talk about how other people really suck.
I mean, really suck.
Bad movies, bad music, bad television, it's all fodder for us to disseminate and destroy.
But what about us? Let's try something a little different. I want to hear how bad we are. I want to know the dumbest, most embarrassing, hackiest things we've ever created. And while we're at it, let's a dish a bit...
Here we go:
1. WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN?
That would be an unproduced screenplay entitled Devil Inside. It had something to do with demons taking over New York City. Sound cool?
It wasn't.
2. WHAT'S THE WORST LINE YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN?
It was from Devil Inside. One of the main characters, a bike messenger named "Papi Chulo", accuses the female EMT character of being a lesbian. She responds:
"Yes! I am a lesbian! And my wife is out there somewhere!"
3. WHAT'S THE WORST ADVICE YOU'VE EVER GIVEN?
Speaker 1: "Summerland? What the hell is that?"
Speaker 2: "It's this new show from Aaron Spelling. Lori Loughlin's in it."
Speaker 1: "Sounds horrible. You should try and get out of it. It will only hurt your career"
Speaker 1 is me. Speaker 2 is Jesse McCartney.
4. WHAT'S THE ONE TIME YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP BUT YOU DIDN'T?
I was at Sundance with my old boss. He conducted the entire meeting with his white terry cloth robe WIDE OPEN...and he wasn't wearing anything underneath. We all just kind of sat there and acted as if nothing was wrong. But all I kept on thinking was, Flaccid Penis to your right, Flaccid Penis to your right, Flaccid Penis to your left....
5. WHAT'S THE WORST PITCH MEETING YOU'VE EVER HAD?
It was at New Line Cinema. Pitching Devil Inside. Till this day I still swear that I saw the exec's soul leaving his body.
6. WHO'S THE ONE PERSON YOU'D NEVER WORK WITH AGAIN AND AREN'T AFRAID TO NAME?
Foxy Brown. We sold a show to MTV and the next day she wanted to cut me out. That was the first time I went through something like that. It hurts more than I'd like to admit.
7. WHAT'S THE WORST SCRIPT IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD?
No, it wasn't Devil Inside. I wanted to make a foreign romantic comedy. But the twist was that I wanted the actors to speak in gibberish opposed to an actual real language. I think I was trying to prove that intent can be more coherent than words. Yeah...I don't know what I was thinking.
8. WHAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT YOU BEING ON SET?
If something funny is happening in the scene I tend to laugh out loud and blow the entire take. I wish this was an isolated incident. It's not. It happens all the time.
9. WHAT'S YOUR WORST WORKING HABIT?
I tend to not outline my scripts. When I'm writing alone, it's fine. But if I'm writing with my partner, it's a disaster. I know I should do it. But it's just so much fun to just write without it.
10. WHAT'S THE WORST MISTAKE YOU'VE EVER MADE?
5 years ago I hired Abel Ferrara to direct a film. The studio said in no uncertain terms that they would not work with him. I kind of thought, Well fuck you then. It wasn't until Abel and I started talking about the script that I understood why. During the meeting he fell asleep. In mid-sentence. In his mid-sentence. And let's just say that I don't think it was due to exhaustion...
Okay, now it's your turn.
--Tenspeed
posted by Tenspeed & Brownshoe @ 6:25 PM
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