Tenspeed & Brownshoe

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Invader has Become the Invaded.

So, when I am not writing or wishing I was writing, or out at the bar or wishing I was out at the bar, I work in production. As the song says, nice work if you can get it. I am doing locations on a film right now, came on board late AGAIN, cleaning up someone elses mess AGAIN. I am the A Team of Locations.
Heres the tech scout: "Can locations knock that building down across the street because we really wanted to put the camera THERE."

So one of the locations no one can find is a building with a certain stairwell and hallways that sound a lot like MY Building. Me and my big mouth, I mention that very thing.

So we shot in my building. Guess where holding is? My apartment which is the size of a minivan with the seats ripped out.

I have shot in many total strangers homes and businesses all over the city and beyond but I never realized how fucking intrusive and thoughtless a film crew truly is.

6:30 am some PA rings my buzzer, he didnt get the call sheet that the time had been pushed back. I suggest a diner.

730 am they start filing in. Same PA wants to know where he can plug in all the walkie batteries. Some guy walks in to my apartment talking on his cell phone, doesn't even look at me, keeps talking, puts his bag down on the chair. More people on phones hanging out in my house. Drinking coffee. The second AD asks where she can hook up a printer.
Someone needs a hot brick.
Make up has a full length mirror in my sink, a huge make up bag spread out across the stove.
One of the guys on the phone has a lap top open on my bed now.
Art department wants to know where theres a hardware store.
More people more bags,
Wardrobe hangs clothes all over every door and knob. There are shoes lined up on my desk. Second AD wants to unplug MY printer.
Someones in the bathroom.
I cant go in my living room, some chick I've never met is changing in there.
That's kinda hot though.
Wardrobe chick #2 is sitting on my floor hemming something and 630 am PA needs to plug in a coffee machine.
Actress from before now laying no my bed reading aloud the titles on my bookshelf.
Someone I have never met asks me who lives here.
Another actress asks me how long I am going to be on my computer.
An actor in my living room has actually lost the remote to my television.
A PA is putting a bunch of waters in my frige.
Still someone in the bathroom.
I go out for a while.

Its later now, much later.
Things have gone way over. I go out to dinner, have drinks with some friends. My neighbors want to know how fucking long they are going tonight.
I say so do I.
1:30 am they wrap. There is some cold pizza down stairs, the left overs from "second meal."
It's not bad.
Most everything is finally out and I go up to the apartment.
People are sitting calmly around, drinking beers talking about the days shoot. No one seems to notice me, or for that matter offer me a beer.
I tell them good night. They look around confused for a minute then begin to realize, I think.
Still no beer offer but they at last leave.
It smells kinda funny, but I go to sleep.

I am Brownshoe if I am lying may the lord SMITE me.