QUESTIONS YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO:
Is this about the money?
Of course. It's always about the money. Anyone who says it's about the principle obviously hasn't been offered enough money.
Does this make me look fat?
Yes. In fact, your fat makes you look fat. Chances are you'd look fat in anything. Except maybe, the ocean.
Is this going to hurt? (Physically)
You're about to be pricked by a long hard metal object that has no business being inside of your body, so yeah, I'd say it's gonna hurt.
Is this going to hurt? (Sexually)
You're about to pricked by a long hard metal object that has no business being inside of your body, so yeah, I'd say it's gonna hurt.
or
Just as long as you don't scream and let it happen.
Is there someone else?
There's always someone else. Always. By the time you ask that question, "someone else" has already seen your boyfriend/girlfriend naked.
Are you fucking stupid or what?
This is one is particularly funny because the person you're asking has usually just done something that only a fucking stupid person would do. Like fall asleep behind the wheel of the getaway car or buy a new mink coat for your wife after a huge heist even though you've already been told to lay low and not buy anything big because there's so much heat on us already.
How are you?
Not only do you really not care but if someone actually begins to answer that question thoughtfully, you'll just drift off and think about things like what in the world is Star Jones gonna do now that everyone in America officially hates her guts. Quick Aside: I think it's terribly ironic that the View is replacing a stupid, hateful bitch who used to be fat with a stupid, hateful bitch who used to be skinny. And they're both married to someone who's gay.
**UPDATE: One of the commenters asked me some more questions and I feel like they should be addressed in the front end of this post. You can read the exchange in the comment section.
Was it something I said?
No. I kicked you in the balls for a completely different reason.
Does this taste/smell funny to you?
Always a weird question. I mean, milk tastes like milk the other 364 days of the year so when it tastes like a baby's diaper one day, it's probably gone bad.
Do you want fries with that?
If you're even eating in a place that would ask you that question, chances are you want fries with that.
Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?
Hmmm. Well, I don't know anyone else that cries when they masturbate so you might want to go talk to someone. Oh, and you own a Blackberry.
--Tenspeed
posted by Tenspeed & Brownshoe @ 9:26 AM
Comments:
9
