Tenspeed & Brownshoe

Monday, June 26, 2006

I love the movies, I swear I do.

Did this ever happen when you were young?
You're coming home after school and you can't wait for dinner and you are starving and all the way home you are dying for some good old fashioned home cookin? And you get home and your mother is making your least favorite thing in the world? Something with beets maybe.

I'm standing there in the lobby of Loews near my apartment. A respectable mulitplex on 2nd ave with nothing to do tonight and I look up at the whatever... marquee or whatever that is called, and I realize that no matter how much I lower my standards there is not one fucking thing I will suffer through just to satisfy what is, lets face it a popcorn jones. (maybe that will be my pen name if I am ever a movie critic - Popcorn Jones)

Here's what's playing at a theatre near me----

The Davinci Code... We've been over this. Fright wig.
Cars... Sorry, not ten years old and don't have one handy.
Garfield, tale of two kitties... Many possible giggle garnering games to play with the title, but in fairness I am not, I think, the target audience.
Click... Are you fucken serious?
Nacho Libre... God, Jesus, is it me? Besides, man nipples on movie poster - big no-no.
The Omen... Big 'fuck you' for remaking one of the spookiest, coolest movies I remember from growing up and then putting Julia Stiles in it.
The Lake House... Sorry, not a fat chick and don't have one handy.
Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift... I totally invented the pulling up on the parking break thing first of all, and while I get the fact that a film like this is a product in a package like the video game it already is, I am saddened by the shameless grab for cash by people who have the power and resources to make great films and instead charge people ten seventy five to watch recycled brainless car chase crap. But as long as they line up and pay, well fuck me then.
The Break Up... For better or worse, my best bet. But am I going to go watch The Break Up all by my self? I mean am I really gonna do that?
X MEN III... Saw it. Whatever. Fraiser was blue.

Brownshoe spending another night watching The Deadliest Catch!