Tenspeed & Brownshoe

Monday, August 28, 2006

Now look what you did you stupid Reality Shows!

It never fails. Never.

Every once in awhile you'll get into a conversation with someone and if the subject of Reality Shows pops up, some genius will always point out that they are destroying our culture. I think it's time to clarify a few things and let the "reality" of that viewpoint to come to light.

Dear Culture Elitists,

Reality Shows do not destroy our culture. They don't even affect our culture. They affect our POP culture. "Baby Got Back", MC Hammer's parachute pants, Beavis & Butthead, Jackass, Tom Green, Howard Stern...they never did get around to destroying our culture, did they? That's because it's all pop culture. They're all great questions for a game show but terrorists aren't trying to blow up America because there was a girl on girl kiss on The Real World.

These are the same arguments that your grandparents made to your parents about Rock & Roll and "fast dancing". Here's the truth. They just didn't get it. Your parents just didn't get it. And now you don't get it.

These shows...they're not for you. You don't get it. You have different tastes and needs. You're a bit behind. Now there's nothing wrong with that but you need to realize that as much as you tried to rebel against this when you were a teenager, you're turning into your parents. No, you ARE your parents. It happens to us all.

Here's another funny little fact. Most of you who rail against this medium mostly have one thing in common.

You don't have any kids.

I'm not saying that you don't like kids. I'm just saying that you don't have any kids. Before you have kids you think so many things are stupid, idiotic, or destroying our culture. But when you have kids you slowly start to realize, "Oh...this isn't for me. It's for someone else. And they like it." Sort of like the way The Maltese Falcon is not for kids. It's good to us but they just won't get it.

So, stop trying to figure out why Flava of Love is popular. You won't get it. Ever.

It's just not for you.

But you're not crazy. Our culture is being destroyed. It's being destroyed by Poverty, Terrorism, and an Environment that might not even sustain us in the next 100 years. We have a Foreign Policy that could lead us into World War III, that's destroying our culture. We have a Theocracy that's stealing reason, common sense, and our medical science. Now that's destroying our culture. American Idol? Mmmm, not so much.

So maybe you should just get a grip. Focus on the real problems of society. Go to the gym. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Get off the soapbox. Otherwise you're just John Lithgow from Footloose.

And it only goes downhill from there.